Tonglen is a Tibetan Buddhist meditation practice that literally means “taking and sending.” In this practice, individuals cultivate compassion by visualizing the taking in of others’ suffering (breathing in pain, discomfort, or negativity) and sending out relief and happiness (breathing out well-being, joy, or positive energy). The practice has many benefits.

Like any meditation practice that focuses us mindfully on our breath, the meditation will lead to a sense of groundedness and calm.

But, more importantly, Tonglen helps us develop a deep sense of empathy by actively engaging with the suffering of others. It can help alleviate our own suffering by transforming it into compassion for ourselves and others. It supports us in seeing how our suffering is shared by all human beings, which can lead to a feeling of interconnectedness. And, it invites us to hold all suffering in the vast, spaciousness of Absolute Bodhichitta, which provides a sense of perspective and can help make or suffering feel more manageable.

When we practice Tonglen, we welcome our own fears and attachments rather than pushing them away, which can lead to a reduction in their power over us. Further, we give away what is good, which supports us in letting go of grasping and clinging to our happiness. Finally, the sending out of positive energy and well-being enables us to contribute positively to the consciousness of the world (or collective consciousness).

There are Four Steps to Tonglen which will be explored in this meditation:

1. FLASH ON BODHICHITTA

Rest your mind for a second or two in a state of openness or stillness. This stage is traditionally called flashing on absolute bodhichitta, awakened heart-mind, or opening to basic spaciousness and clarity.

2. BEGIN THE VISUALIZATION

Work with texture. Breathe in feelings of heat, darkness, and heaviness—a sense of claustrophobia—and breathe out feelings of coolness, brightness, and light—a sense of freshness. Breathe in completely, taking in negative energy through all the pores of your body. When you breathe out, radiate positive energy completely, through all the pores of your body. Do this until your visualization is synchronized with your in- and out-breaths.

3. FOCUS ON A PERSONAL SITUATION

Focus on any painful situation that’s real to you. Traditionally you begin by doing tonglen for someone you care about and wish to help. However, if you are stuck, you can do the practice for the pain you are feeling yourself, and simultaneously for all those who feel the same kind of suffering. For instance, if you are feeling inadequate, breathe that in for yourself and all the others in the same boat and send out confidence, adequacy, and relief in any form you wish.

4. EXPAND YOUR COMPASSION

Finally, make the taking in and sending out bigger. If you are doing tonglen for someone you love, extend it out to all those who are in the same situation. If you are doing tonglen for someone you see on television or on the street, do it for all the others in the same boat. Make it bigger than just that one person. You can do tonglen for people you consider to be your enemies—those who hurt you or hurt others. Do tonglen for them, thinking of them as having the same confusion and stuckness as your friend or yourself. Breathe in their pain and send them relief.

Instructions borrowed from, How to Practice Tonglen, by Pema Chodron, Lion’s Roar.