The Sense of Wholeness

There is a state of consciousness, or rather a state of being, which I call the sense of wholeness. When I find myself in this state, the mental activities of reasoning, figuring out, organizing, are quieted and remain in the background. On the other hand, I am vividly aware of my bodily sensations, especially the movements which are part of the process of breathing. There can be sensations of warmth, trembling, the streaming of energy, even waves of pleasure. Sometimes I feel a release of the muscles in my chest as if a muscular armor protecting my heart was melting and left me in an extraordinary state of vulnerability and tenderness. At the same time, it seems to me that all is exactly as it should be and nothing is lacking. This is a state of mental clarity, of immediate and direct knowing which does not need logical justification. I feel myself as being whole and complete; there are no inner conflicts, no duality of the bodily and the spiritual. I also feel myself in wholeness with everything I perceive, even with everything that exists. It is not that things which are separate and independent have become connected in some way or other, but that there is not and has never has been any separation. And this whole sense of wholeness appears, not as something which I do through an act of my will, but as a reality which arises of itself and which I can only welcome as a kind of grace.

This sense of wholeness is accompanied by a variety of emotions which can vary from one experience to another. There is often a deep peace and serenity. There is a whole gamut of happiness which can even reach the level of joy or ecstasy. Sometimes it is a sense of freedom like a falcon soaring on currents of air, or the wild dance of the whooping crane. There can also be tears. But most of all it is an amazement at the beauty and the mystery of the world which we inhabit and of the simple fact of being, of being alive. This sense of wholeness is not something rare or extraordinary. It is perhaps the habitual condition of small children. Many readers of this note will be able to witness to similar experiences. When, in my adolescence, I first became aware of this state of being, I understood it within the context of Catholic theology, believing that it arose from a kind of communion with God. Today, I think that it is completely natural, available to everyone, whether they are believers or not. We can only rejoice in it gratefully!