Letting My Life Speak
Finding Wholeness and Purpose in Midlife.
In my mid-forties, I felt burnt out from a flexible but unfulfilling job and uncertain about my future. The work had been convenient when my children were young, and at one point, even inspiring. But over time, it lost its meaning, and I often fantasized about quitting.
Right around that time, everything shifted when my mom was diagnosed with ALS. Our lives centered around caring for her through her slow and heartbreaking decline. ALS is brutal. If you know, you know. We were fortunate to keep her at home, and when she passed, my father, brother, children, and I were all by her side. That experience brought into such clear focus just how precious and fragile life is. Afterward, I couldn’t bring myself to return to the work I had been doing before. I knew I couldn’t wait another moment to pursue a more purposeful path, but even then, I still wasn’t sure what that path was.
Then, one day, out of the blue, a dear friend suggested I consider life coaching. At first, I scoffed at the idea, feeling embarrassed by the suggestion. But I couldn’t shake the effect it had on me. It was as if something inside me had been awakened, a part of me that was ready to come into being.
As I reflected on it, I realized how much sense it made. I’ve always been drawn to deep conversations about personal growth and had spent years immersed in psycho-spiritual work rooted in Buddhism. Friends often turned to me during difficult times. And, let’s face it, 75% of the books on my shelf are personal growth books!
Curiosity led me to discover a life coach training program that blends Jungian psychology and Eastern spirituality—a perfect mix of my interests. So, I took the leap and enrolled in the program.
Immersing myself in Carl Jung’s work was a revelation. His insights on “the second half of life” completely reframed my experience. Jung saw midlife as a turning point, a time to release the ego-driven pursuits of our earlier years so we can reclaim our wholeness and live as our True Self. It was deeply validating to realize that the confusion and longing I had been experiencing was actually my heart’s way of calling me into a deeper relationship with myself, to align with my purpose.
During this journey, I also dove into shadow work, learning to welcome and integrate parts of myself that I had previously rejected: my directness, my inner wisdom, my capacity for uncertainty. I learned to trust myself more deeply and embrace the unknown, and even work with the wisdom of my dreams. These shifts opened me up to the deeper calling I had been seeking.
But even with all the growth, stepping into coaching wasn’t easy. In the beginning, I felt exposed and anxious. That little voice in my head telling me all the reasons I shouldn’t be doing this got so loud. I’d startle awake in the middle of the night thinking, WHO DO I THINK I AM?
My shadow patterns came out in full force.
My inner Judge told me I was too old. My People Pleaser worried what others would think and feared rejection. My Perfectionist agonized over every detail. My Controller resisted letting me trust my intuition.
But I learned to meet the fear and shame behind these patterns with curiosity and compassion, cultivating practices that helped me stay grounded and connected to myself, my clients, and my purpose. Over time, the voices of self-doubt grew quieter... and quieter... and quieter.
It’s not that everything fell into place immediately, but I stopped needing it to. That desire for everything to work out was a remnant of old patterns—beliefs that an ideal outcome would bring me happiness, love, recognition, or security—and fears I couldn’t handle it if it didn’t. With this shift, I dove deeper into my Self, learning to trust my intuition and instincts. These guides helped me meet my physical, emotional, and financial needs, improving my relationship with my husband, deepening my connection with my children, and ultimately leading me to my calling.
I’ve noticed that many people often feel discouraged that they haven’t “arrived” or gotten to where they think they should be in midlife. But as Carl Jung said, “Life really does begin at forty. Up until then, you are just doing research.” This perspective completely reframes what we’ve been up to until this point and helps us see our experiences as part of the natural progression of growth and becoming who we truly are.
Another insight from Jung that resonates deeply is: “Midlife is the time to let go of an overdominant ego and to contemplate the deeper significance of human existence.” For me, this journey has been about reconnecting with my True Self, shifting away from a need for validation or external approval.
This shift from ego-driven goals to soul-driven purpose is where I found my authentic power—and it’s what I want to support other women in discovering.
This work has transformed my life, and it’s a privilege to share it with others. Witnessing my clients’ vulnerability, courage, and transformation as they step into their authentic selves has been incredible.
It is my life’s purpose to empower you to be fully engaged in the second half of your life, stepping into the power and purpose that is uniquely yours. I hope that what I write and share here will inspire you, and I’m excited to be inspired by what you have to share in return.
Note: To those of you who may have recognized it, yes, the title of this piece was inspired by Parker Palmer’s wonderful book, Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation.