On Being Alive


On Being Alive

To be alive is an incredible miracle. It is so easy to say “I am alive. You are alive,” that these short sentences seem to state the obvious—to not really need saying. And yet we have to acknowledge that it is impossible for us to clearly define or explain what this aliveness really is. Of course, aliveness is not a thing or an object, it is a process, which is why it can’t be captured in a static definition. When I am most in touch with being alive its seems to me that it is a kind of flowing energy, a surging, an expansiveness. I like the phrase of philosopher Henri Bergson who spoke of élan vital, that is, a life-thrust, a dynamic force.

It’s wonderful to be in contact with this flow of aliveness and energy within myself. Sometimes it is the peaceful, serene energy I sense from statues of the Buddha and I can experience it just sitting quietly and breathing. At other times it is a kind of shout-for-joy vitality that makes me want to run and jump like a kid just having fun. Sometimes my energy feels powerful and primitive, like a wild animal. There is also a mischievous playful energy that comes up when I let myself be “a bad boy.”  Even if I am experiencing pain or grieving over a loss, I can be glad about my ability to feel, letting myself be human, and sensing a serene contentment even though I may be hurting at the same time.

Philosophers, theologians and psychologists often talk about the meaning and purpose of life. There is a sense, however, in which it is not necessary to assign meaning or purpose to being alive. That is, when I contact my aliveness, that seems to be enough in itself and does not need explanation or justification. All we need to do is to live and to enjoy our aliveness. This is, in fact, the essence of happiness.

When I reflect on the world of nature, I like to think metaphorically  that all living beings are “happy” when they are acting in harmony with their inner being; a horse is happy when it is running across a field; a bird is happy flying; a cat is happy catching a mouse; an acorn is happy when it is growing into an oak tree. That is, the well-being of a living organism arises from its self-expression, the unfolding of its potentiality for being, doing, moving, growing, allowing that élan vital to really emerge and gush out. So for a human being to live well, to be happy, is to actualize and to experience as deeply as possible all the potentialities for being alive including breathing, making friends, studying science or philosophy, working hard, enjoying our sexuality, helping fellow human beings in need, and everything else we are capable of.

In spite of all our knowledge, there is no one who can really explain what and why life is. Fortunately, however, we are able to experience its mystery. Thich Nhat Hanh, a Buddhist meditation teacher, encourages us to just become quiet and begin to pay attention to our breath. Observing its gentle in and out without trying to change anything, can you become sensitive to the mystery and wonder of your own breathing? When it is seen for what it truly is, breathing is as great a miracle as if someone would show up and turn day into night, walk on the water, or instantaneously cure a broken bone. When we contact the mystery of our own breathing, we contact the mystery of life itself. The only responses which seem commensurate are amazement and feelings of gratitude that we are indeed alive.

It is an unfortunate but inevitable concomitant of socialization and education that the dynamism of the élan vital is brought under restrictions and limitations so that the bubbling energy of the child will not disturb the order desired by the parent, the teacher, or society: “Don’t run, scream and laugh while  Daddy is trying to figure out the income tax.”  Sit quietly at your desk so other students can hear what the teacher is saying.” “It’s not nice to be angry.” “Keep your sexual urges under control.” “Don’t make other people feel upset.” “Follow the rules.” Injunctions such as these may be necessary in certain circumstances. But even when they are delivered without severe threats or shame inducing reproaches, they can have unfortunate consequences: many children grow into adults in whom the dynamism of aliveness has been so suppressed and smothered that the juice of life is largely dried up. One becomes afraid of the life energy which so often seems chaotic and unpredictable. The ability to fully say “Yes” to life is lost and a person is more dead than alive.

The situation is far from hopeless, however. Eventually many of us come to a point where we decide to re-establish contact with the source of life within us in order to become as fully human and fully alive as we can possibly be.